Awareness if Microaggressions

Before studying microaggressions in class I never realized just how prominent they were in everyday society. In just the past 5 days I have noticed a number if unintentional slights against myself and others that before would have been ignored as just another person’s way of thinking. Tuesday afternoon while preparing to leave for work I was talking with a few of my parents, one male and several female and the father made a comment about how all of our families must eat well having women to cook for them. This father is a single father and from interaction with his child I know that they eat out a lot. The father just assumed that because we were all women that we enjoyed cooking and could do it well. When one of the mothers laughed and claimed to hate cooking and not being very good at it either he was dumbfounded. He could not understand how a woman could not be good at or like cooking. As it turns out, I do love to cook and can hold my own in the kitchen but I am one of the few in that particular group that could. Several of the women took offense to the comment and one or two just laughed it away. I do not believe that the man meant to offend, I do not know a lot about his life or behaviors outside of his home (he keeps his home life very guarded) so he may have been raised to believe these things.

After hearing the offensive comment I was at first upset to think that someone could be so callous but then I realized that no offense was meant and I probably would have laughed the statement away had I not been in this course. I did notice however that some of the other women in the group felt a little more hurt by the comment. One of the women went so far as to blatantly correct the man which made him feel embarrassed and fool. I almost felt more embarrassed for the man after he was admonished than I did for the women when he made the comment. The one thing that stands out to me the most is that words hurt. Whether intended or not our words have the power to hurt others and we have to make a conscious effort to say the right thing all the time. That means educating ourselves on other cultures and ways of life as well as educating ourselves in the people in our communities and how their cultures may fit in or stand apart from ours. 

Perspectives on Culture and Diversity

“Culture is a person’s way of life.”

                                    -John

“Culture is tradition.”

                                    -Shannon

“Culture is people coming together to celebrate differences.”

            `                       -Ann-Marie

Working through this course I have learned that culture is the coming together of others to learn about and share their life experiences with others. The definitions and reflections that I received from others seem to share that same sentiment. Of the three definitions one includes a person’s way of life which includes the daily choices that they make. It also includes the traditions that they practices and the ones they choose not to take part in.

Each definition that I received, if evaluated separately, leaves something out but if all three of these definitions were to be combined into one they would encompass a pretty accurate definition of what culture means to me. It is more than just the choices that a person makes, or the traditions that they practice, it is how they come together to share these experiences with others and to learn about why and how others do those same things. My definition of culture would include all of these things and more. Every aspect of a person’s life is affected by their culture from the way they choose to live to the way they treat others and/or accept others into their lives.

One thing that I noticed is that most people did not discuss diversity when relating a definition about culture. I believe that diversity is an extremely important part of culture. As people we have to understand that everyone, though they have similarities, also has differences and we have to learn to accept those difference so everyone can feel like they belong. 

My Family Culture

           If I had to move myself and my family to another country and could not take my personal belongings with me I do not know how I would feel. I think I would have a hard time conveying this to my children because they are extremely attached to their belongings. This is a decision that would have to be made as a family but if I had to choose on my own I would choose my Bible, my family made cookbook and a scrapbook made of my children’s experiences.

            I would chose the Bible because it is representative of my faith and everything that I believe in. It is not only representative of my faith but it is a teaching tool that I can use to continue to share my faith with my family in this new place. Without the Bible I think my family’s faith in God and our spiritual growth would be hindered.

            My family’s homemade cook book is a great way to share stories and memories of the life left behind. My children and I have create a family cookbook with recipes that we have created and love and in the cookbook are stories of how some of the recipes were created along with pictures of myself and my children actually cooking the meals. Time spent in the kitchen with my children is one of the most precious moments of my day. We are creating memories that will last a life time and if we keep this cookbook with us then we can share that family time as generations go on.

            The third item that I would bring with me is a scrapbook of my children and our lives together. The experiences that I have shared with my children have helped to shape them and form the bonds that create our family relationships. These experiences are a part of the reason that they view the world the way they do and that is going to affect the way they grow and develop and raise their own kids. I want them to be able to remember their experiences and share them with the future generations of our family.

If I had to choose just one of these items to take and leave the rest behind I would be absolutely devastated. I would have an extremely difficult time choosing what to leave behind. I do not know that I could choose just one. I have learned through this entire process that all of my life experiences boil down to two things, my faith and my children. Without these two things I would not be the person I am today.